As we all know too well from following the news, things have once again been heating up in the Middle East. There is a real danger these days which shows no signs of abating at least for a few months. That’s right…it’s matkot season.
Matkot, according to Wikipedia, “or beach paddleball, is a popular traditionally non-competitive game in Israel, sometimes called Israel’s unofficial national sport.” It is played with two players who attempt to hit the ball back and forth as many times as humanly possible, creating a high-risk environment where beachgoers can enjoy the possibility of being hit in the head by a ball flying at Mach-2. The object of the game is somewhat unclear. While matkot advocates claim that it is a leisure sport, like frisbee, involuntary spectators have found more accurate comparisons to games such as Chinese water torture and banging your skull against the wall.
Ok, readers, what other safe games can we suggest to make the beach fun for all?
Here are a few favorites that you might find beachgoers partaking in…
1) Pee in the sea undetected
2) Spot the American
3) Sit in the café’s beach chair without paying the roving guy 12 shekels
Let’s hear from you! MAKE THE BEACH SAFE FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!
I’m ashamed to admit this publicly, but… I actually have a panic attack every time I walk within a few yards of the matkoters! It freaks the Bejeezes out of me! I’m paranoid of getting hit. The sound is even uber-aggressive!
I mean, I played softball, baseball, AND soccer growing up and was never afraid of the ball…. but matkot…. scared out of my wits!
Hi, I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy reading your blog — I only found it the other day and am really glad I did! It’s so interesting to read about life over there in an alternative context to…well, war. I’ve sent your link to all the Israel buffs I know and I think they will appreciate it!
Cheers from Toronto, Canada.
ech omrim “my plastic surgeon doesnt want me playing any sports where balls may fly at my face!”
From my expierience on the beach in Tel Aviv (all 2.4 seconds of it) and my 22 years expierience of beach time in south east florida (South Beach to Boca Raton) I do recall seeing plenty of people playing “matkot” (Paddle Ball per my 84 year old uncle) on the beach never did get hit with one of those dangerous balls, always got hit with a football on the beach tho. Why cant the world just get along and play Volley Ball!!!!
Lets teach these rednecks here in North Ga how to play something other then country music PLEASE!!!! “Ill settle for matkot”
I had a horrible accident with a thrown aluminum baseball bat to the mouth in summer camp one summer and ever since I start hyperventilating when sporting equipment is thrown in my direction. So this post really resonates with me. I’ve been on Tel Aviv beaches and believe me, I feel your pain.
- Spot the heterosexual at Topsi Beach.
- Take a slightly aggressive, though sweet looking doggy with you. Let him get soaked with sea water and roll around in the sand. Ooooooooohhh, eyze gamuuuud! But then.. he starts running around, barking, growling, eating their Bamba, shaking off the wet sand directly on people’s towels. Very entertaining activity to watch people’s reaction to that!