Top 10 Things Jonathan Pollard Just Said

My latest on the Times of Israel…. After decades in captivity, US-Israeli spy Jonathan Pollard was released from prison earlier today. Here are the top 10 things he said upon re-entering his new life. 10. Bruce Jenner is a WHAT? 9. I hope I’m not too old for Birthright. 8. Jesus, I can’t find a pay phone anywhere. 7. […]

Top 10 Reasons “BTTF” Couldn’t Happen in Israel

My latest from the Times of Israel…. Yesterday was “Back to the Future” Day, the exact date that Marty McFly and Doc Brown headed to the future, where we discovered hoverboards, the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series, and more. Without further ado, here are the top 10 reasons “Back to the Future” could not have […]

“Day of Rage” Schedule Uncovered

My latest from the Times of Israel… This past week, the Palestinian people called for a “Day of Rage” against Israel. “Walid A” uploaded his schedule from the day to his Facebook page. A translated recap is below. 6:35 Smash alarm clock with sledgehammer 6:50 Take freezing shower, hate world 7:05 Consider switching allegiance to […]

Top 12 Yom Kippur Apologies

My latest on the Times of Israel…. With just hours to go before our fates are determined, the Times of Israel reveals the top 12 Yom Kippur apologies from the past year. May we all be inscribed in the Book of Life. #yk5776sorrynotsorry 12. The white-and-gold dress, for making us think it was black-and-blue 11. Ahmed […]

Rosh Hashana Smackdown 5776

My latest on the Times of Israel… Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner. Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale. Miss Piggy and Kermit. 2015 has already been riddled with celebrity breakups and with the Jewish New Year upon us, we have our latest. Following the Ashley Madison hack and unsubstantiated rumors of infidelity, TMZ is reporting that […]

A Zionist Spy Dolphin Walks into a Bar…

As reported here, Hamas claims to have captured a dolphin that was spying for Israel. As always, if you’re going to live in the Middle East, it helps to have a sense of humor. Some thoughts from yesterday…. After capturing the Israeli spy dolphin, Hamas subjected it to ten hours of waterboarding, until realizing that he liked […]

STILL GOING STRONG: 67 MORE Things I Love About Israel

Every year I say this but this year, I really can’t believe I was able to write another list. How do I know I say it every year? Because that sentence was copied and pasted from last year. This year was by far the toughest yet but I think you’ll approve. I hope so because this tradition […]

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